A new nickname for the ‘Fierce Five’

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We need to be honest with ourselves and admit that there is nothing remotely fierce about the ‘Fierce Five.’ They’re all five-foot nothing and could be held off with an extended arm. It’s a really terrible nickname and we need to stop using it. Unfortunately Gymnastics USA has adopted it on their website, so we’re probably already too late.

Still, hear me out. Nicknames used to come with more panache than some alliteration and the ability to count. Football had Pittsburgh’s “Steel Curtain” and Denver’s “Orange Crush,” basketball had Detroit’s “Bad Boys” and L.A.’s “Showtime,” and of course baseball has the “Bronx Bombers.” So let’s think a little harder before we put a final label on these girls, lest their incredible accomplishments enter into history with a sub-par nickname.

“Golden Girls” is dumb and too easy, “America’s Queens” is cliché, and we can think of four people (and their mothers) who wouldn’t like “Gabby and the Girls,” or “Aly and her Allies” – but seriously, those are two awesome names. We could be talked into “Bratz” or “the Freshmen” because they both make sense in context, but they probably wouldn’t be popular, much like the Bratz and most actual freshmen.

So now we’re left thinking outside the box and for our money the best answer is “the Gym Rats.” And sure, we’re almost certain most teen girls don’t like to be called rats in any context, but it’s a positive term for people who work hard and never rest until they achieve their goals and we think these girls fit that bill. Plus, gymnastics takes place in a gym, so it works on a number of levels. Tell us we’re wrong.

So that’s what we’re going with now. Please join us in demanding better nicknames for our proud athletes. And lastly, I’m sorry, but the “Magnificent Seven” is a group of gunslingers led by Yul Brynner and Steve McQueen, no matter how amazing Kerri Strug’s vault was in ‘96. Let’s retroactively fix that one, too.

Sprinter celebrates world title like Incredible Hulk (video)

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Australian Evan O’Hanlon‘s jersey couldn’t contain his excitement after learning he won an IPC world 100m title in London on Friday.

O’Hanlon and China’s Hu Jianwen crossed the finish line in a dead heat, both in 11.07 seconds. It took about 30 seconds for the scoreboard to turn up the first name, at the 2-hour, 8-minute, 40-second mark in the above video.

When it was the five-time Paralympic champion O’Hanlon, the Australian reacted by ripping his jersey apart like the Incredible Hulk.

After Hu appeared to walk off the track, the scoreboard updated to show they were co-gold medalists.

A short while later, O’Hanlon was reinstated as the sole winner, with Hu taking silver.

Afterwards, O’Hanlon tweeted, “If anyone needs me I’ll be at the pub…”

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Mack Horton rekindles Sun Yang criticism before worlds

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BUDAPEST, Hungary (AP) — Australian swimming gold medalist Mack Horton isn’t backing down from his criticism of Chinese star Sun Yang.

After the team from Down Under arrived in Budapest for the world championships, Horton was asked whether he was looking forward to renewing his rivalry with Sun.

The reply: “I don’t know if it’s a rivalry. I think it’s a rivalry between clean athletes and athletes who’ve tested positive.”

Horton’s comments are sure to rekindle the bitter feelings between two of the world’s top swimmers. Last summer, the Aussie said he had “no time or respect for drug cheats,” a reference to Sun’s three-month doping ban in 2014.

Horton went on to beat Sun in the 400m freestyle final.

Now, they’ll face each other again at Duna Arena. The swimming competition begins on Sunday.

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