Wait, why not Honolulu in 2024?

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Because no one understands the difference between a prank and just lying on April Fools Day, a University of Hawaii news site reported Monday that Honolulu is planning to submit a bid for the 2024 Olympics. Totally hilarious.

The story claimed that Mayor Pete Carlisle – who is the real mayor of Honolulu – said, “If the IOC is interested in making a non-traditional choice for 2024, we think Honolulu is the city to beat.”

Which I guess is a joke… kind of. I mean, it fooled some semi-legitimate news sources. But that statement actually makes sense, and got me thinking: Why not Honolulu for the 2024 Olympics? The USOC didn’t send one of its 35 letters to Honolulu, but who doesn’t want to go to Hawaii for the Games? And, as a go-to tourist destination, what amenities do they not already have available?

The USOC’s requirements to host the Games include 45,000 hotel rooms (check), an international airport (boom), a workforce of more than 200,000 people (probably), and public transit (we’ve got a decade). But Hawaii could probably win the 2024 Olympics bid based simply on perfect weather, a location people already want to go to, and places to play sports in public. And we could add surfing.

The story also argued that places like London, Los Angeles, Tokyo, and Paris were “hogging” all the Games, and it’s time to give other cities a chance. Like Honolulu (also: Istanbul). Which seems fair.

So Phoenix still gets my vote, mostly for being the location of my birth and the best place to watch a sporting event in America. But once everyone shoots me down for it being too hot, I think the next logical decision is Honolulu. Who’s with me?

Mikaela Shiffrin plans to return next week

Mikaela Shiffrin
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Mikaela Shiffrin plans to race the next World Cup slalom in Crans-Montana, Switzerland, next Monday, according to her social media.

Shiffrin, 20 and the reigning Olympic, World and World Cup slalom champion, has been out since suffering a right MCL tear and a bone fracture in a Dec. 12 warm-up crash.

Her timetable for a return this season has shifted in the last eight weeks.

The rescheduling of a canceled Jan. 31 slalom for next Monday changed her previous plans to return the final weekend of February.

“Our goal is to have her be really close to 100 percent, if not 100 percent [before competing],” said Shiffrin’s mother, Eileen, in an earlier Denver Post report. “We’ve heard all these horror stories about athletes who went back too soon and then sustained injuries that did end their careers.”

The World Cup season concludes March 20. There are four slaloms left on the calendar, and Shiffrin trails slalom standings leader Frida Hansdotter by 305 points.

A winner receives 100 points per victory, so Shiffrin could take her fourth straight World Cup season title, but it would all but require her to win all four remaining slaloms and for Hansdotter (and others) to struggle.

MORE: Lindsey Vonn’s winning streak snapped

Tony Parker plans to play in Olympic qualifying, Rio Games

Tony Parker
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Tony Parker said he plans to play in both Olympic qualifying in July and the Rio Games in August, according to L’Equipe.

Parker, 33, previously said he could miss the tournaments this summer, at least in part due to his wife’s pregnancy, according to French media.

Parker said his wife is due in late July, which would fall in between France’s Olympic qualifying tournament (July 4-10 in the Philippines) and the Rio Games (Aug. 6-21).

Parker led France at the 2012 Olympics with 15.7 points per game. The French lost two games in London, to the gold medalist U.S. in group play and silver medalist Spain in the quarterfinals.

Parker led all players with 19 points per game at 2013 EuroBasket, won by France.

In September, Parker and France fell in the EuroBasket semifinals to Spain in a winner-goes-to-Rio game.

The defeat forced France to a last-chance, winner-take-all, six-team Olympic qualifying tournament in the Philippines in July.

In the Philippines, France will face a field that includes Canada, which had nine NBA players on its roster (including Rookie of the Year Andrew Wiggins) at August’s FIBA Americas yet was stunned in a winner-goes-to-Rio game by Venezuela, which had zero NBA players.

France is likely to be without Chicago Bulls All-Star Joakim Noah this summer as he underwent season-ending left shoulder surgery in January and hasn’t played a major tournament for the national team since 2011 EuroBasket.

Other French NBA players include Charlotte Hornets swingman Nicolas Batum, Utah Jazz center Rudy Gobert, San Antonio Spurs forward Boris Diaw and Orlando Magic guard Evan Fournier.

MORE: Kristaps Porzingis not yet committed to Latvia Olympic qualifying run