Oh. No. Is there a rift between the UK’s two most lovable – and universally beloved – women?
At the BBC Sports Personality of the Year Awards Sunday, Jessica Ennis, Britain’s darling heptathlete, whose London gold medal is only outdone by her lovely smile, showed-up the only British female more beloved than she: Kate Middleton.
In presenting Ennis with the runner-up award (champion cyclist Bradley Wiggins took top honors), Middleton was making her first appearance since she was hospitalized with severe morning sickness from bearing a possible heir to the kingdom.
As Kate handed over the hardware to Ennis, she extended her hand for a congratulatory shake – a shake that Ennis ignored. Brits collectively gasped, and died a small death of petrified horror. We’re almost certain someone collapsed, hand against head.
Some say that Ennis didn’t see the Duchess of Cambridge offer her royal hand. Others might say that Ennis was unable move under the weight of her bulky prize. But we see what’s really going on here: A scandal of outrage and treachery, one that should leave Ennis grateful that Braveheart-style punishment of traitors against the crown is probably a thing of the past.