Ashley Wagner went into “a very severe depression” and received professional help after finishing fourth at January’s U.S. Figure Skating Championships and missing the PyeongChang Olympic team.
“I could barely get out of bed. I could barely function,” Wagner said on her Instagram Story on World Mental Health Day on Wednesday. “The day-to-day was such a struggle for me. At first I was just really disappointed in myself for letting one event in my life derail everything that I thought I knew was true about myself and how I saw my place in the world and how I felt about my own sense of worth and value.
“I think, as an athlete, it’s really easy to tie in your sense of self-worth with how successful you are in competition. I opened up to friends and family about that and about how I was feeling and how low I was. Anyway, because I was so open with people about how I was feeling, they were able to kind of push me in a direction where I felt comfortable seeking out professional help to help me figure out how to deal with these emotions. So, long story short, never discredit how you’re feeling and the fact that something can be done about that and steps need to be taken for you to get better. I am in a completely different place now than I was then because I had a professional help me. I’m definitely not 100 percent better, but it’s one of those things where it’s a work in progress and it’s day by day. Because I was able to eventually get myself to a point where I sought out help, I’m finally gaining tools to help myself get better.”
Wagner, 27 and a Sochi Olympic team event bronze medalist, is taking her first competitive break after 11 seasons as a senior skater, sitting out the fall Grand Prix series. It’s unknown if or when she will return to competition.
“After the craziness of last season, I decided to take a breather and sit out of this Grand Prix season,” was posted on Wagner’s Instagram in June. “My passion for the sport burns very bright, but after 11 seasons on the circuit I am ready for a bit of a break! I am continuing to train and take this day by day, but I’m allowing myself the opportunity to open up the definition of what skating means to me!”
Wagner is more decorated than any other active U.S. female singles skater — the only U.S. woman to earn an Olympic or world championships singles medal in 12 years, taking silver at the 2016 Worlds in Boston. She is a three-time U.S. champion and owns three Grand Prix Final medals and five Grand Prix event titles.
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